Anonymous said: My boyfriend currently is trying to get icey hot off of his balls because he accidentally got some on there and he said and I quote "you can't wash it off with water. You use Olive Oil which will be good for you ya know just seasoning them for you so you're welcome"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaahAHAHAHAH OMFG THAT IS HILARIOUS
Slutty Confessions | Send them here!
Anonymous said: 你好我愛你。你是真可愛。
Do you think that when Steve Rogers sneezes, one of the Avengers goes up to him and whispers, “God Bless America”
Then Steve fucking looks at them like this
IMAGINE IF SIMON COWELL WAS YOUR DAD AND YOU WERE SINGING IN THE SHOWER AND HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND SAID “ITS A NO FROM ME”
r u ever scared to walk past a group of teenagers even though you are also a teenager
ok apparently if a duckling imprints on a human and doesn’t meet other ducklings he ends up believing he’s a human too. that’s unbelievable. what if im just a duckling with an overactive imagination. what if im just a sleeping duckling and this is all a dream
I really hate when I put food in the microwave and it starts popping and making explosive noises so I check it and it’s freezing cold like why you gotta play me like that
my mom said dinner was ready and i went downstairs and it wasnt even ready im sick of all the lies