there’s a difference between “lazy” and “i don’t want to fucking do that shit”
never thought 150 thousand people would agree with me
"oh you’re not doing anything so i guess you can help me with th-“
This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.
We don’t have kids.
We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.
my brother left his drink at taco bell and was like “where’s my baja blast?” and my sister just quietly whispers “in the baja past”
restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans
(Source: sir-broccoli, via ghoustly)
Shine bright like a washed nintendog
when your friend starts telling an embarrassing story about you